Today has been hard, I feel like I’m experiencing some form of personal asphyxia. Everything feels very lucid and vague, but it’s also too bright and in my face. I’m struggling to feel like I’m real.
Monday was very much a nothing day, I spent my day waiting for Ricky to be awake enough to do something, which inevitably never really happened… but that’s life sometimes I guess.
Tuesday, however, was amazing. Coffee in town with Richard was most definitely overdue, and I’m now more encouraged than ever before to put effort into the physical side of friendships, seeing people in person is surprisingly refreshing after spending so many hours looking at a screen. I went over to Rachael’s for dinner and made/ate pizza, it was too spicy, but the burn was fixed by drinking wine from the bottle which had an undeniably strange feeling to it (please don’t judge me dad xox). For once red wine didn’t send me off to sleep which was good as an impromptu night out happened, and I loved it. We danced for hours, eventually tumbling back to hers at about 6:30am, and in many ways I’m impressed with our introverted selves.
Wednesday, again a nothing day, this time of my own accord. A hungover mess occupied my bed, and strange thoughts occupied my head.
Thursday came with couscous, vegan brownies, lots of Louis Theroux, and a sleepover with Rachael. I like early morning conversations that make no sense but feel comfortable and cosy. They make me feel safer.
Friday morning was spent dicking around with Molly and Jenn, I laughed so hard that I wet myself a little, and I haven’t found anything that funny in an awfully long time. Oh, also, I fell out a tree a bit, but I still consider myself a monkey-human hybrid. I popped home for an hour or so to chat to my mum which was nice and then went to Blackpool for the evening with Ricky. I loved how much he loved it. He looked so happy and I wish I could have made the moments go slower and just stayed in that bubble for a while.
Saturday was less good, starting of with tension between myself and Ricky was bad, but I went for a hot chocolate with Rachael and then we walked Nellie (my mum’s dog). Actually Saturday was good, it just had a bad start. I went out with my dominos friends last night and that was incredible, what a reunion. I miss them.
Nandos tonight with Rachael. Amazing.
Five things that made me happy this week:
- Catching up with Richard in the whale tail
- Not buying a single drink whilst out on Tuesday
- Being an adventurer with J and M
- Rachael freaking Halliday. All day everyday. What a friend.
Next time, t xox